Is the first basic part Plot of my story cliched in any way? Is the plot any good? Would you read it?
Question by CONjugate: Is the first basic part Plot of my story cliched in any way? Is the plot any good? Would you read it?
Ok, so here’s the basic plot for the first part of my story, inculding some basic descriptions.
In 1941, a race of humans in Eastern Europe were discovered, and found to be different from many other races. They were distinguished by smooth physical features, 3/4 to 1 inch long canine teeth, natural ability to stand a greater amount of pain than other humans, and odd, ritualistic lifestyles. Many fled to the Americas to avoid experimentation from both the Nazis and the Russians. Despite their white skin, beautiful features, and elegant, wealthy lifestyle, they were widely discriminated against, and gangs-considered families, much like the Italian Mafia-began to form. They were basically labeled “Vampires”, and it was a name that stuck. Other people had a hard time distinguishing them from fictional vampires-and considering they were from the Transylvania area, originally, it was well understood that they may be.
In 1991, a brutal civil war (related to both the Soviets and the Vampires) is fought, and the United States is split into three seperate countries, the East being communistic, the farthest Midwest being the area our story takes place in, and the south is given to Mexico.
PRESENT DAY-
A task-force of soldiers is assembled to invaid a villiage of all-vampire inhabitants in search of the “Crimson Crypt” family. The leader, Randall, orders the team to kill everything that moves, because one man sent to scout ahead disappeared without a trace. Ironically, he was just flirting with a female vampire, but they are shot. The extermination continues as they form teams to breech houses. The villiage of 48 quickly turns into a villiage of One, as the lone survivor-a young female-is dragged out and a group meeting of the surviving ten members is called. The one new man in the team is ordered to rape the last surviving vampiress. After refusal and argument, the new man is forced to do so, as if he refuses, both he and the vampiress will be killed. Reluctantly, he does so, and the vampiress promises that she will find him. But does not specify what she will do.
Two days later, the task force embarks on a second excursion to a nearby villiage, in search of Crimson Crypt members. No scouts are sent, and they are met with heavy resistance as the citizens had armed themselves with hunting rifles and other guns. Eventually the resistance is wiped out, only this time, the civilians are spared and unharmed. Two soldiers are killed, and the leader, Randall, begins to reconsider the cruelties he has comitted, and apologises to the new man (Connor) who tells him to ‘get a life’ essentially.
On the third day, they go to another villiage. The third villiage is apparantly empty. During house breaching, each two man team that enters (with the exception of Connor and Randall’s teams) are brutally murdered by Crimson Crypt members hiding inside. Connor’s support, Raul, is killed by a stray bullet from one of the dying team members. Randall’s support is hacked to pieces with a sword, and Randall is captured. Connor finds himself alone as he heads to the center of the villiage, where he finds Randall captured, and the girl he was forced to rape. She violently executes him in front of Connor, and tells him that she is actually the third in command of the Crimson Crypt gang, and she will spare him, as long as she delivers a message to the government which organised the hunt. Connor agrees to do so, and she customarilly kisses him. Connor realises he likes her, but she is only doing all she can to keep from killing him in vengance, out of pity (Connors past is explained later on).
SO! Any thoughts?
Best answer:
Answer by Tinsley Monroe
Its pretty good, definitely not your normal vampire type story.
Give your answer to this question below!
Good Will Hunting (1997)
Video Rating: 1 / 5
Q&A: Please help me on this part of my Story/Novel, what needs to be fixed and is it any good -small section-?
Question by : Please help me on this part of my Story/Novel, what needs to be fixed and is it any good -small section-?
This is not the beginning, nor the end. Somewhere in the middle. Is it good enough?
“My heart pounded quite hard in my chest as I gazed at the entrance. Violent screams and images spun rapidly in my head. For some reason, I was always nervous or simply overly excited before the hunt.
I stepped out the door and walked down the path to my garage. It was pitch black in the garage. As usual, it had a musky dusty stench that hung heavily in the air. I knew that basically everything except my car and the tarp covering my motorbike had a thick layer of dust over it.
I owned a simple silver four door Honda and a sport motorbike. As I am simply hunting tonight to study my victim, I will be using my motorbike.
It was hard to see it, so I stuck my hands out and blindly searched for it. I will love the day when I will be more organized I thought to myself as I felt one of my motorbike’s mirrors.
My hands maneuvered over to one of the handles of my motorbike and grabbed hold of it. With that, I mounted the motorbike and played with my keys to find the remote. At finding it, I jabbed my finger into one of the buttons to open the garage door and watched it as it slid open. I kicked the kick stand up and waddle out of the garage on the tips of my toes, moving the motorbike without the engine on.
Once near the side walk, I halted and just gazed at the road and sighed. I peeled the paintball mask off and placed it on the tank. My lips shuddered as the chilly air sunk deep into my skin cooling my core down. I could barely see the steam spiral into the air with each breath I exhaled.
Just seeing the steam, my cravings kicked in. Ugh, where are my cigarettes when I need them? **** I thought to myself as I patted my body down.
I found half a pack in one of my pockets of my sweater. “I swore I took them out of my sweater,” I mumbled as I pulled a cigarette out along with my lighter.
The cigarette dangled from my lips as I lit the lighter. My eyes analyzed the neighborhood for any witnesses as I waved the flame at the tip of the cigarette, lighting the tip up.
I inhaled a deep breath and released the carbon dioxide from my lungs out into the silent night. “I need to align the information…victims info,” I mouthed as I squeezed my eyes shut.
It was how it worked for me. I needed to lay it all out like a map on a table.”
Thanks.
Best answer:
Answer by Elizabeth
Well … i guess it s good it s just that i don t know the plot who the person is what the character s doing so i can t be sure of how good it is ! But i think this section looks okay
What do you think? Answer below!
Q&A: Does this part in my story make you want to read more?
Question by ~oO*Lex*Oo~: Does this part in my story make you want to read more?
SNEAK PEAK
SOMEWHERE IN CH. 17
I stared blankly through the window. I wanted to sleep. I wanted a bed. I wanted to go HOME. The man came in with a cup of hot cocoa. I took it solemnly from him. He smiled weakly. Arron was sitting across from me, in a chair made out of bear skin. I thought that was gross. But I smiled sickly.
“So you guys were lost in the woods?” He asked. His voice was very deep, and he seemed like the indian type.
“We were looking for the Torch Wood cave.” I explained, my voice shaking.The man raised an eyebrow.
“Do you know what kind of place that is?” He murmured. I shook me head. He sat down, too.
“Werewolves.” He whispered. I stiffened a little. But I wasn’t freaked out, compared to what had happened and what i have seen already. I saw Arron’s jaw clench. I decided to speak up.
“I’m not afraid.” I whispered, and looked at the floor. Arron snickered.
“Really?” Asked the man. I nodded.
“What’s your name?” I asked, a little louder than necessary. The man pressed his lips in a hard line.
“Sean.” I nodded again.
“Luna.”
Arron didn’t speak.
“This is my friend, Arron.” I told Sean. (Shawn).
“So are you indian?” I asked rudely, though I had no intention of being rude or sudden. He chuckled darkly.
“Something like that. There’s a whole story, a little long I warn you.”
I leaned forward eagerly. “I can keep up.” He chuckled again before speaking.
“First, Luna, you must understand that back then there were rules, too. But those rules weren’t fair.
“I came from a small pack called ‘The Krass.’ Remember what I told you about that Torch Wood place?” I nodded, deep in thought. He began again.
“Werewolves. The Krass was a werewolf pack, and I was in it. I wasn’t the leader until I was older. We hunted when we needed to hunt, and we did everything we were told. By our master of course.” Sean’s eyes flickered to me, then to the fire. “And who was your leader?” I asked, barely listening to the crackling fire that licked the air. Sean grinned.
“The werewolf king. His name was Ario. We all bowed to his rules. Back then there were evil spirits, Luna. And you need to understand that even now, where ever is good- Is evil. The Ario was a werewolf, not a spirit.Our tribe was an indian ledgend. We hunted around the world, until vampires came along. We are mortal enemies, Luna. They told us to stay off their land. So we did. But then one day, one of the werewolves in my tribe got angry, and killed a vampire. Back then, it was illegal to kill an immortal if you are an immortal as well. The tribe was punished, and half of our tribe was killed, and half of the vampires were killed. They turned to spirits, and lived with Ario. I was lucky. But ten years later, he made a law. Like a peace treaty you might say. We weren’t to ever touch a vampire again. The same the other way. But then, a vampire lashed out on me.” Sean put his fingers under his eye, where there was a long scar I hadn’t noticed. He continued.
“The Ario came, and I watched the Ario kill the vampire. Then, he told me it was my trun. I hadn’t touched him, so he let me go. Ever since then, I was the only one left in the tribe. So the tribe was therefore broken. I’m sure in Torch Wood cave there’s a new Krass Tribe though, that will take on my Tribe’s responsibilities.”
We all stared into a fire, and I had barely noticed Arron was sitting next to me now.
I had so many questions to ask Sean.
“Do the spirits kill?” I asked, in a low voice. Sean shook his head.
“Sadly, yes.” I frowned.
“Did you ever see Ario again? Or your Tribe? Or even the vampires?” I said, quickly.
Sean smiled, darkly. “I never see Ario. And the spirits of my tribe are long gone. But every now and again, I sniff a bloodsucker.” He sniffed in the air for measure, then he looked lividly at Arron. That’s when my heart sank, and I couldn’t see. “Luna!” I heard Arron call, then there was blackness.
Thats a sneak peak of my newest story Shattered. RATE AND DO YOU WANT TO READ MORE? Would you buy the book? Dont tell me the grammar mistakes, I know. But is the story good itself? I didnt copy Twilight, either. If you read the whole thing, its irratically different. 
Best answer:
Answer by Summer
It seems like a great thing that you’ve got going for yourself here! I would buy it! Is Arron a vampire or something? Haha now I really want to know what happens next…..
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
Good Will Hunting [Part 9 of 13]
A beautiful story. A spectacular script. Wonderfully acted and directed. Everything about this movie is great. A true classic!
Making a Natural Ground Blind Part 1
The Backwoodsman’s Institute presents: making a natural ground blind. In this 2 part video Logan shows how to make a ground blind using natural materials from your hunting area. Watch both parts to fully understand the concept.
Its the first part of rifle season and I’m a beginner,Have ANY advice?
I am just now old enough to hunt by myself. My dad took me hunting a few times but not enough to really know what to do. I love to be in the wood and fish, but just having some feelings that i don’t have what it take to get the job done.
ANY advice??
When he stalks and ambushes his prey, what kind of nocturnal hunting animal is Dexter like for the most part?
- Fer-de-lance (ICYDK, It’s a snake)
- Owl
- Wolf
- Fox
- Lion
- Leopard
- Tiger
- Jaguar
- Jackal
- Coyote
- All of the above
Pick another active after-dark hunting animal if you can’t decide from my list!
Good Will Hunting [Part 4 of 13]
A beautiful story. A spectacular script. Wonderfully acted and directed. Everything about this movie is great. A true classic!
Cattle Dog mix has taste for wild game & kittens..need help or advice with the kitten part…?
our dogs live inside most of the time, we have a large fenced yard which also contains a veg garden…rabbits thrive here and when the dogs go out on occasion catch and eat small rabbits…that is not the concern, i do not mind the rabbit control…what bothers me is that we also have some “barn cats” now…feral kittens that have decided to live inside the garage and barn, we do feed them and they seem to enjoy being around..so here is the problem..
the cattle dog mix is going to eat them…you can just tell it is what is on his mind..i have tried leashing him, exposing him to the cats through a kennel cage, holding them and petting them while someone else has him on a leash next to me…rewarding him for not plunging toward them in these instances…then, as soon as he gets the opportunity…he is after them with “that look” in his rabbit hunting run… i have also tried bring the kittens into the house inside a cage, thought the dogs would accept them as pack if they were brought inside and ate while the dogs were eating…noting i have tried has worked….perhaps the cats will be tough country cats and outrun the dogs, but i do not want to bet their lives on it..anyone have any good ideas how to train my dogs to leave the cats alone? please no lectures about letting my dogs eat wild rabbits…it is what some dogs do and have done for a long long time…
re: Dogs are pets, not yard ornaments.
if the dogs are outside, so am I…these dogs are my kids…they go outside to poop…they go outside with me on the way to garage, on the way to get out the gate on leash for walks…the reason we have enclosed the entire property with a fence is for the safety of our “yard ornaments” lol…who are also bed cushions, pillows, sofa pillows and part of the family..my dogs know I am the pack leader, and all but one has given up the urge to eat the cats..if i left him unattended i would not know his behavior…that is the reason i am asking the question, to get help…not sarcasm.
Good Will Hunting [Part 3 of 13]
A beautiful story. A spectacular script. Wonderfully acted and directed. Everything about this movie is great. A true classic!
